The past year has been a witness to a lot of discussions about mental health. A quick glance at these discourses and one will invariably see the word self-care thrown in at least a couple of times. If you are in therapy, or have ever been in one, chances are that you’ve heard the word self-care from your therapist at least once every session. Us therapists love to use the word. So, what exactly is self-care and why is it so important?
Self-care, in its simplest sense, means taking care of yourself. But it is not so straightforward. It has become an everyday term and somewhere, the meaning of self-care has been reduced to bubble baths and spa time. While these certainly are self-care practices, it is also much more.
Self-care is building a healthy relationship with oneself where one learns to take care of oneself. Self-care is not about how much money one spends on it and who notices you performing the activity. It is about how attuned we are to ourselves and the relationship we create with ourselves. To make it easier to, self-care is broadly divided into 4 kinds –
Physical self-care refers to taking care of the physical needs of the body. This may include getting adequate sleep, eating healthy and on time, hydration, physical exercise and movement. It could also mean organizing one’s surroundings, decluttering, ensuring physical safety etc.
Emotional self-care aims at emotional well-being and this could include boundary setting, investing in relationships, spending time with people who matter, and identifying and focusing on one’s emotions and reactions to situation.
Psychological self-care could include paying attention to thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviours. It could be in the form of journaling, affirmations, going into therapy, taking time off work and responsibilities to take care of oneself, meditation etc.
Spiritual self-care aims at understanding one’s spiritual self. This could include prayer and meditation in addition to spending time alone, spending time in nature, performing meaningful activities and mindfulness.
As you may notice, it is highly possible that activities could double dip into any/all of these categories. This is because this self-care is all about what one needs at the moment and how it benefits us. Two people could be performing the same activity for self-care and it could mean two very different things for both those individuals.
Practicing self-care is easier said than done. There is always something more pressing and important than maybe going for a walk or getting those 8 hours of sleep. It is often construed as being selfish and maybe in some ways it is. I had this conversation with a fellow therapist a couple of months ago about the guilt attached to self-care. This guilt of putting oneself before others is why self-care is so difficult to practice. We have always been told that it is wrong to think about yourself, but if you don’t think about yourself, your needs, and your well-being, who will? The flight attendants have a point when they say, “Remember to secure your oxygen mask before assisting others to ensure your safety”.
So, who needs self-care? Everyone. As I always tell my clients, you cannot pour from an empty cup. In order to work efficiently whether it be your job, studies, home, caregiving, we all need to take care of ourselves before we can do other things. Nearly every individual today plays multiple roles in various settings. We may be students, siblings, children, parents, partners, colleagues, caregivers, professionals etc. and in order to be able to fulfil all these roles, we need to put ourselves first and take care of ourselves. Self-care activities aim at doing just that. So, the next time you hesitate to switch off your phone to spend some time by yourself or with your loved ones, know that your body and mind is thanking you for loving yourself.
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