How do social influences shape our thoughts, beliefs and feelings? Our perception of ourselves emerges in reference to something external. We see ourselves relative to what is around us and that shapes our choices and actions.
I have experienced body image issues that centered around my height. As a teenager I was extremely tall (still am) and it used to bother me that people would stare while I walked past, exchanging not so soft words with their companions about my height. What bothered me was that whether I liked it or not, I was noticeable, I stood apart. And when I was younger, it was not something I cherished - being apart from everyone else. And I certainly didn’t like it every time someone asked me if I played basketball. It annoyed me that I was never asked if I even liked the sport or not. Being tall and to not play basketball was a waste of height apparently and it was this that made it hard because I did not consider my height to be special. (Still don’t, it’s just there – like my head)
In terms of clothing, most items do not go past my broad shoulders so that puts a majority of readymade and affordable clothing out of reach for me. As for buying footwear, which I experience to be an extremely disappointing outing, I am always directed to the men’s section almost immediately after my feet are looked it. This particular thing, about not fitting into the standard size of women brought on some feelings that challenged my self-esteem. Height and size started to matter a great deal and I felt conflicted because there literally wasn’t much to do. It was physically impossible to fit in. And it has taken me sometime to accept it.
As a dancer, I would be cast as male characters because of my height (again). I think I’ve taken most things in stride here and gone with the flow because by that time, taller=man was unfortunately, a conditioned belief. The appearance of my body and how I felt about it went back and forth. Through comparisons I only wanted to look one particular way and felt constantly dissatisfied because most around me did and I did not. It was hard to escape those thoughts when this happened.
In the last two years, I have spent more time adjusting this notion after understanding what actually does work for my body.
We seek recognition, acceptance and encouragement from people around us. The feeling of belonging is a predominant marker that determines further development of thoughts and opinions we may have of ourselves and of the world around us.
We tend to compare ourselves to others. Be it wealth, success, appearance or abilities, this is a natural part of being human. Our position in our social environments molds our self-presentation and vice versa.
It is quite intrinsic to feel the sense of acceptance and affiliation to a desired group. In order to feel this sense of belonging, it can lead us to conform to standards that the group upholds, to what they consider their normal.
Leon Festinger, a social psychologist, proposed the social comparison theory where individuals evaluate themselves through comparisons with others. He theorized that we have an innate drive to evaluate our abilities and opinions by comparing the same with others. These opinions and abilities in turn influence how we behave.
Abilities refer to the range of performance whereas opinions are subjective, with the possibility of being right or wrong.
As suggested by many researchers, through the process of social comparison, self-evaluation takes place through three motives-
Self-assessment where we obtain accurate information about ourselves.
Self-enhancement where we choose the more positive information about us.
Self-verification where we confirm what we already know about ourselves.
When it comes to groups, two motives to conform have been identified-
Normative social influence refers to the desire to be liked by others. In doing so, we alter our behavior in order to be accepted and meet the expectation of others’.
Informational social influence refers to the desire to be right through the actions and decisions of others. We use their opinions as a guide for our own.
This can be better understood through the conformity experiments conducted by Solomon Asch during the 1950s.
In one based on perceptual problems, a line was presented where each participant had to identify it from three comparison lines of varying lengths. In each session about six to eight individuals were present where, unknown to the participants, the individuals were all a part of the experiment. In twelve out of eighteen trials, the accomplices unanimously answered wrong and it was structured in such a way that the actual participant answered last. It was found that a majority of the participants agreed with the false answers, thus conforming to the group.
When questioned later by Asch, some revealed that they believed their answers to be wrong and that of the group’s to be right while some although not in agreement with the group’s answers still went with it. About 25% of the participants did not yield to the pressures of the group.
What happens when we don’t see in us the desired performance we expected to, in terms of being accepted into a group? Does this change the measure of value or worth we believe we deserve?
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