I think I was first introduced to Psychology when I was around fifteen years and just like everyone else, my instant reaction was "Ok! I am going to learn to read minds!". But boy, was I wrong. The one thing I did not learn was to read minds, but I did learn how to fend off people wanting their minds read.
Moving on to a couple of years later, when I decided to take psychology as my core subject and now as my career, the person I'd like to thank is my Psychology teacher during my 11th and 12th grades in school. Although I am pretty sure she has no idea how much of an impact she has created on me, she knew just how to instil the passion for me to begin my journey.
I have always prided myself in being adaptable, in being able to adjust to whatever the situation may be and this was proven to me time and time again. For instance, in the year I was away from my family, I was learning and being a part of a new culture and taking up responsibilities I would not have dreamed of taking up.
Even with all my so-called preparations, I was not prepared to deal with losing some of my closest friends. Retrospectively thinking (which seems to happen a lot for this) I could have handled it better, but then I did not know better and I definitely did not have any other way to deal with it. I clearly remember the bouts of low mood, the crying spells at the most random moments, the need to stay away from people, feeling unmotivated to do anything and the overwhelming amount of work from my college. I did not speak about this to anyone but I clearly remember one time, I decided to turn off my phone and I sent a message to my parents stating the same. I got a response from my father asking me to keep my phone on just for them to be able to reach me and to ignore all other messages/calls that I did not want to respond to. This changed something in me. It showed me that people are there for me and they care for me. I don't remember if I shared all of this with my father but this helped me try and make a change in myself even though it was the hardest thing to do, at the time.
One thing that helped me during this time was playback theatre. I began to enjoy my classes. Even though I continued to crib about everything in college, I had an amazing support system. When I think back to this time, I know I learned that having support apart from family and friends allows you to express yourself without being judged for what you are feeling. This is a safe space and it has someone you can fall back on when everything else seems chaotic. Surprisingly for me, this did not have any impact on my decision to become a clinical psychologist. The resolve to help people increased when I was doing my M. Phil.
During this time too, I had extremely low dips in my mood and also experienced sitting on the other side of the table but I found that I could understand myself better while I was going through the training to become a psychologist. I began to accept myself, which I had a lot of trouble doing because of my height. I also began to believe in other people and their capacity to be resilient in times of crisis and I continue to be in awe of my clients on a daily basis.
The point I am trying to make with all this rambling is that, all of us are dealing with difficulties. We all need the support we so well deserve, from whoever is willing to give it, whether it is a person professionally trained for it, or a friend, family or some random person sitting next to you. We all need to experience that calm ocean, the gentle breeze on our faces and learn to tame the rough seas because once that is done, it completely changes the way you view things. I know it did for me.
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